Chance and Choice

Watching an episode of Space: Above and Beyond (an excellent mid-90's sci-fi series I will doubtless talk about on here at some point), I was struck by how much our lives are ruled by chance when it gets right down to it. Two main characters are captured by AI's, who point out how much of human life falls right into random chance (the AI's are obsessed with the concept, but that's another story). I came across the same thing when writing in my novel - after all, it is random chance that causes one of the main characters to be central to the plot: The fact that he woke up that morning and decided to go to the market. Nothing more, nothing less. His own choices propell him from there.

I am a great example of this. Merely ten months ago I was quite different from who I am today. However, a small chance changed all of that.

Adam forgot that Daniel would be rooming in the language house, and so did not get another roommate in time. When picking roommates, we happened to say "why not?" when i could have picked another person I did not know. Because of that, my entire life was changed. From there on out, it wasn't chance, it was the kindness shown to me by all those who i now consider dear friends and my own willingness to break outside of my shell.

But what if we hadn't roomed together? The thought is quite chilling. I would probably not be sitting at an internship in the library, i would not have friends, I would be much more miserable (and my warcraft character would be wearing the best gear in the game), and even if i did get the internship at the library, I would be miserable working with people. Thanks to everyone, I now don't really stress about it, which is a HUGE change from just one year ago.

The ramifications of that little chance will be with me the rest of my life, and will echo throughout everything that I do. It's both astoundingly wonderful, and also quite frightening to think that chance controlled the initial contact.

Is it fate? Destiny? Random mathematics? I don't have an answer for those things. It can be frustrating sometimes. Sure, I'm working towards a career goal I suppose. I can try to be open to new people. Am I waiting for the hand of chance to meet my true love? On some level, as much as I can do to try to meet new people, and better myself (which im far from perfect at), it is in the hands of chance. Sure, where you go from the initial spark is your choice, and that is of course what really matters. But when it's the most important thing in your entire life, even that small bit of chance can be maddening and frustrating.

Or the time that giant cockroach flew past my head, helping contribute to my phobia of roaches and recurrent nightmares. Stupid roaches. Why are they so mean?? >=( <--(Angry Duckey)