Narratives of Hope and Dispair, and understanding humanity

This is about depressing stories, the clearly different impacts they have on different people, and all of that. It's a long thing that will also (I hope) give you a much better understanding of who I am, which, I at least am ALWAYS seeking to learn from other people.

I wish i could talk to more people about the way they think and view the world, I gain so much from it. I would be beside myself with joy if we could sit down at dinner and talk about how we think. That won't really happen, but I can dream can't I? I can't even begin to scratch the surface here on how I think, but its a start i suppose. Anyway, on with the post!

I'm working on a book this summer. I'm 26,000 words in after 2 weeks, and I would like to keep going and finish at least the first "Book" (the story really takes 2 books worth of writing to tell). I doubt i'll get it done, but I can dream can't I? That's not what im really writing about here though.

I was telling my supervisor at the library that I was writing a "depressing book". It is very depressing and hopeless, and is extremely dark (at first Galactica is shiny-happy-fun-land). Now, the story ends on a note of intense hope, but that is not the point. She asked me, quite seriously "Why write a depressing story? Nobody wants to read something depressing!"

This made no sense to me. I sat there, somewhat dumbfounded. What do you mean, "Why are you writing it?" What do you mean, nobody wants to read something depressing? I thought about it, and I thought about it, and I thought some more. I recalled things in the past, conversations with people, and it really made me think about, well, how I think. It's so easy to unconsciously assume everyone is like you, and then be confused when they are different. We're all approaching life on different pages, oftentimes in different books entirely.

I'll start out by using my favorite topic, Battlestar Galactica, as an example. Blacklock asked me last semester what I thought the main "theme" of Battlestar Galactica is. Despite countless protests that you cannot devolve a show as complex as galactica into one theme, I finally settled on what was far and away the most blaring, obvious one to me. "Hope." I said. Blacklock said "Persistence (or preserverence), the idea being that no matter what happens, no matter living through the apocalypse, despite enduring things so horrible and powerful that they should cause a person to break, they stay strong. The characters falter and make mistakes, but they hold on to their humanity. They hold on to themselves, to what they believe in, even when it looks as though things can get no darker, as though there truly is no hope left. That is inspiring to me, and testament to the power of hope. If they had none, they would have started shooting themselves (Which *ahem* might happen to some).

He told this to Adam, who said something like (and do forgive me, i might be wrong on this) "What?! There's no hope in Galactica!" I wondered if we were even watching the same show, when Galactica is one of the most hopeful shows I've ever seen. If that makes no sense to you, let me explain.

For me its like this: The darker the tale, the more flawed the characters, the more dire the circumstances, the more powerful it is to me when they do manage to hold on to and uphold morals, or goodness, or whatever it is they are holding on to so dearly. It's probably why I love the darker trend Hollywood has taken so much.It's most interesting when you are a regular guy, without anything special other then yourself. Those are my favorite heroes. =) When all of civilization is collapsing around you, when you are simply struggling to survive, when you are at your lowest and you still hold on to that, then that is powerful to me. Not to mention the fact that I can relate more to the characters, and its more powerful to me if the flawed character makes it halfway then the hero who makes it all the way - the perfect hero dosen't have those stepping stones to overcome. After all, while we see heroes fighting villians, we don't see much of them fighting themselves, which is a shame. Thankfully, that seems to be starting to change somewhat in the media, which makes me happy.

I also like the dark trend because it hits me emotionally so much more. Two of the most powerful books I have ever read (and two of my favorites) are "All Quiet On the Western Front", which is a powerfully realistic tale of a German Soldier in WW1, and "Night" which is the story of a young Jewish boys ordeals in concentration cames. Neither is "Pleasant to read". Don't get me wrong - there are a lot of times when I want pleasant, when i dont want to get jabbed in the heart and when i want to see crap blow up, or just laugh or whatever. But most of the time, I like things that shake you. Things that after you read (or watch) them, you realize that they have changed something inside of you, that you will never be quite the same person again.
Most recently, Adam showed me Apocalypse Now. It wasn't pleasant to watch. But when it was done I was left speechless. I gained something from it I felt, some deeper understanding of who we are are people. And I suppose that's what I really look for out of movies, and books, and things like that. A better understanding of the creature that is man. A better understanding of love, a better understanding of our ability to act so barbarously. A better understanding of ourselves.

And space battles. I get like a little kid with space battles. (True story, I was really depressed the first friday of spring break. The semester was half over, blah blah. I watched Galactica, the one before the finale. I was still depressed when the trailer for the finale came up. Admiral Adama says "Galatica's seen a lot of history, been through a lot of battles. This will be her last." followed by a shot of about a thousand explosions in space. I jumped up and down in my chair like a giddy kid.) They also call this "Space Porn", and if it is space porn, i guess I'm addicted. Oh well, better space porn then the other type eh?